4 things no one tells you about the first 5 years of your career

4 things no one tells you about the first 5 years of your career4 things no one tells you about the first 5 years of your careerWhen we enter the working world for the first time, we show up with a lot of assumptions about (but little understanding of) how the corporate world works. Sometimes these expectations are met, but a lot of the time they arent leaving us confused and wishing someone had told us what to really expect before we even started.Well, as a former sales rep turned career coach, Ive learned that there are several things no one tells you about the first 5 years of your career. After spending much of those years really confused (maybe how youre feeling now) and constantly soul-searching, below are 4 things I wish someone had given me a heads up about when I was starting my career1. Its okay to keep your personal and professional lives separateWhen I graduated college, I thought Id immediately become best friends with everyone I worked with. Shows like The Office made it seem that all office environments were like family even if there were some quirky members. Not so much.Ladders is now on SmartNewsDownload the SmartNews app and add the Ladders channel to read the latest career nachrichtensendung and advice wherever you go.When I found myself in my first corporate job, I thought I was weird for not immediately connecting with all of my colleagues. I just assumed that all of the entry-level people would become good friends and go out for drinks together all the time.While this may be some peoples experience, its most often not the norm. Just like you dont become best friends with everyone you meet in life youre not going to become best friends with every person you work with. And thats okay.Or you may fall into the camp where you like the people you work with, but prefer to keep most of the details of your personal life separate from work. Thats okay too In fact, Id argue that keeping some separation between your work life and your personal life is really healthy.Yes, show up and be your authentic self at work, but you dont have to fill your coworkers in on every single detail of your life or go out drinking with them if you dont want to. You can build a great working relationship with your colleagues without fully integrating them into your personal life or fully integrating your personal life into work.Now that Im older, I actually see it as a blessing that I kept the two a bit more separate than I initially intended.2. Everyone looks out for themselves and you should tooI learned this lesson the hard way several times. Loyalty is an extremely high value for me. It makes me a great friend and employee, but it also means that many times in my career, I was afraid to make a move or take a new job because of the loyalty I felt to my boss or company.The truth is, in the end, everyone is looking out for themselves the awesome boss you feel loyal to included.As much as you may feel supported at work, ultimately youre the onl y one who can truly, one hundred percent look out for you. So when making career decisions, you need to be the one keeping your own best interests in mind.I dont mean go be arrogant or self-absorbed about it. What I mean is follow the opportunities that are going to further your career and get you to your end goal, even if it means leaving a boss or company you feel loyal to. That said, do it respectfully and dont burn bridges. Maintain those great work relationships youve built because you never know how or when people will come back into your life.Sometimes following those opportunities is going to bump up against your sense of loyalty. When that happens, put yourself in the shoes of the person you feel loyal to. If the tables were turned, wouldnt you want them to go after the best opportunity for their career, even if it meant leaving your team? Yes, you would.So stop stressing about being disloyal when making those career decisions because the people who really matter (the ones you want to maintain a relationship with) will ultimately understand. Chances are theyd do the same thing if they were in your shoes too.3. Figuring out what you dont want is just as important as figuring out what you do wantI cant tell you how many times I complained about how all I could seem to figure out was what I didnt want to do with my life. Would I ever figure out what I did want to do? Now as a career coach, I hear the same statements from my clients all the time.Most people dont land their dream job right out of college, or even know what their dream job actually is for that matter.But thats what your 20s are for getting experiences that help you hone in on what you will ultimately find fulfilling. Like any evaluation, the process of finding a fulfilling career involves a lot of figuring out what you dont like.Rather than being frustrated by this, look at the things you know you dont like as awesome insights into what really matters to you. Each thing you cross of the lis t helps you to narrow down your options in a world where the number of career possibilities can feel so infinite that its often paralyzing.Additionally, each thing you dont like gives you insight into what you do like. For example, say your first job out of college is on a marketing team where you are doing a lot of data entry, putting out fires, working alone, and each day feels like it blends into the next and you hate it. Well great Now you know that you dont likeWorking aloneFeeling like your work is reactionaryRepetitive workAND if you flip that around, you have some insight into what might be more fulfilling for youWorking collaboratively with a teamForward-looking, strategy workNew tasks each daySo rather than beating yourself up for only having taken jobs you dont like, think about the ways those jobs are actually clueing you in to what you do want in a job.4. Look around, not just upFrom a young age, many of us are taught that success as an adult looks like climbing straig ht up the corporate ladder. When we get our first job, we look at the people above us and assume well move up into their roles at some point.This may be the case for some people. But what happens when the ladder youre on doesnt feel right? Or when a different ladder looks more appealing? Or when we dont like the feeling of being on a ladder at all?For those of us who were taught to look straight up, this sort of realization can send us into a total panic. We falsely assume that because we chose a ladder, were now deckenfries on it and the only option is to keep trudging up even if we hate it.But the reality is that your career can go in many different directions. You dont just have to look up. You can look around you tooYoure not beholden to the ladder that youre on nor are you beholden to actually climbing a ladder at all. In todays world, there are many career options that look nothing like the options available to previous generations. And you have the power to choose one that m akes you happy.When you allow yourself to believe in your own autonomy and ability to make a change, you open yourself up to new opportunities that will allow you to do just that make a change on your own terms.That change might be up. But it could also be a zigzag, sideways, down, behind, etc. Be open to moving in different directions.This article first appeared on Kununu.